Does spanking teach false obedience rather than SELF discipline when they become adults?

I don't want to hear all the ';thats what's wrong with the world today, we should be able to beat our kids and those who don't are dumb'; comments.





I've seen kids who get spankings and those who don't, granted each child is not the same. Child 1, who is spanked is asked to sneak out by a friend, but didn't because they were ';scared to get a spanking';.





Child 2, who is asked to do the same thing was asked to do the same thing, but her response was '; no, because its wrong';





in my opinion, the second child she KNEW her actions were wrong in general rather than child 1 who may have known that, but didn't do it out of fear of their parents. What if there were no parents around to administer spankings to child one?


Does spanking your children and making them fear the ';spanking'; as a consequence for their actions mean true discipline. Children grow up and move out.. then there are no more spankings. I guess in my experience with kids, they are doing one thing in front of their parents and another when they aren't around.


I just want some insight on what u guys think, and an explanation of how spankings teach self discipline. I'm a teacher... by the wayDoes spanking teach false obedience rather than SELF discipline when they become adults?
That is correct to a point, but it has more to do with any punishment rather than just spanking. I am a non spanker because I find spanking to be a harsh punishment and don't believe it's necessary to be that harsh.





Punishment in general whether it is spanking, time out or whatever should be used sparingly. Parents should really focus on using creative techniques to prevent unwanted behavior and focus on using positive reinforcement to bring out the behavior they want. If someone has a good parenting style and does a good job of teaching right from wrong and why using these other methods, then the need for any punishment is much less.





My belief from experience and extensive knowledge about child development is that overusing punishment or using punishment as a method to control behavior will do exactly what you describe in your question. If every time a child does anything the parent just spanks or just puts the child in time out or just takes something away, then the child doesn't learn anything. All punishment does is punish a behavior and show the child that there are negative consequences for bad choices. Don't get me wrong punishment is necessary at times. The real focus though, should be on changing the behavior and teaching the child what the better choice in that situation would be and why. Teaching them how their actions affect other people.





Over using punishment only breeds in a child resentment and rebellion as the child struggles to find some sense of control.





I have been raising my boys without spanking and because we have a good style of parenting and are consistent, our boys have developed self discipline. We get compliments constantly from teachers and others about their respectful, kind behavior and it is obvious that they make the choices they do because they want to do the right thing rather than to avoid punishment. That's because punishment has never been our main focus.





I remember being in spanking debates when my children were younger and people would say ';just wait until they are older and they will be running all over you out of control';....well here my boys are into teenage years and I've seen none of that yet, instead I see exactly what I expected. Spanking is simply not necessary, good parenting isn't about which punishment you chose, it's about how often you punish and everything else you do as a parent.





EDIT: to the people who say ';children will avoid bad behavior to avoid the consequence...is that really what you want to instill in your child? That something is only a bad choice because if you do it something bad might happen to you? I don't steal, it's not because I don't want to go to jail, it's because I would feel bad about what I did, knowing it was wrong and I wouldn't want someone to steal from me either.





Children who are taught to ';follow the rules or else'; will behave when there is an adult around but if they think they can get away with something then what stops them from trying if you have only taught them they should listen to avoid punishment? Children who are taught to make good choices for the right reasons will make good choices for themself and because it's the right thing to do. To me this is just simple common sense.Does spanking teach false obedience rather than SELF discipline when they become adults?
Spanking is reinforcement. Either it works or it doesn't. Either it's effective within a situation or it's not. It's a penalty phase for a basic value.





You might as well ask if the penalties associated with breaking the law teach respect for the law or just blind obedience. Who knows, but a law without enforcement is merely a worthless platitude.
What is spanking the only discipline technique available? Of course not. Who says you are using spanking to teach self-discipline? Spanking is used as a reminder to teach children to stay out of harm's way. For example, if the immediate consequence of running in the street is a spanking the child will remember that and not run into the street.
We all act different when r rents aren't around. It has nothing 2 do with being spanked. It's called peer pressure. We don't like 2 tell r friends no. We really don't like 2 tell them what they r doing is wrong. So we make up excuses like I'm afraid I'll get grounded or drinking makes me sick (I never drank). If u r a teacher u need 2 no kids never tell adults the truth if they can help it. LOL U need 2 wise up or ur students will eat u alive.
They will likely carry thins idea into adulthood, if the police won't catch you what's the harm? I see it all the time, adults speeding, starting fights, shouting, drunk in public then try to act casual when the police turn up.
Ossum is right on the money. Spanking is effective because children will consider the consequences of their actions and want to avoid getting spanked.
I think it does if done right. With any discipline the reason for it needs to be given. In your example Child 2 may know it is wrong but if they did decide to do it they hopefully also know there will be consequences. It may not be a spanking it may be grounding taking away a cell phone no going out for x number of weeks something. Spanking is just like that it is immediate punishment to a act of disobedience.





I was spanked and not a criminal never been in jail etc . I am grown and way passed spankng stage I don't steal, cheat rob because I know one it is wrong and two I will get caught and go to jail. That is what laws are for they are consequences to our actions
I think the fact that our civilization has survived should say that in some way spanking teaches self discipline. Typically polls consistently show 85% of adults in the US were spanked growing up. Certainly there are some adults that lack self disciple but they are a very small minority. I've never met a child like your Child 1 (at least not beyond the toddler stage). I think any children who are like that it is because their parents didn't practice effective discipline. You should first explaining to the child why what they did was wrong and the possible real world consequences of their action. Then you impose the artificial consequence (spanking, grounding, timeout, taking stuff away, etc.) to reinforce the memory in their mind. Then afterward you explain I did this to you so that in the future you won't risk this real (fill in the blank) consequence. As a teacher I'm sure you have also met kids who say I would do that because I'll get grounded, or not be allowed to drive, or lose my cellphone, etc. It has nothing to do with the disciplinary tool used (use whatever works with your child) and everything to do with how the parent uses that tool.
If done appropriately and at the right ages, I think it can. I was spanked as a child and learned self discipline. However, my parents always sat me down after spanking me explaining why I was spanked, what I did wrong and what I could've done differently. Plus, they didn't use spanking as a form of punishment after we were very old, like grade school. My husband and I do spank our children sometimes, who are 3 %26amp; 5, but we also make sure it is very clear that they understand why what they did was wrong. We try to explain that they made their choice to misbehave and now how to face the consequence, in hopes that when they are older they are able to make their own choices.